Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Tuesday In Other Words First Edition


Hosted this week by Heather at Titus 2 Woman.

The Quote:

Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.
Hosea 2:14

Four years ago, the Lord was speaking to me, and at that point I had decided to listen.

Like, Heather, I also had problems with being competitive, striving to be able to do ALL things equal to, or better than the person who COULD do them. I also had a hard time trying to be like 'everyone else'. In my mind, and heart, there was ALWAYS someone better than me, and it didn't matter what it entailed. I had no knowledge of who I was in Christ.
When I was 16 I was desperately trying to discover who I was. In my seeking, I decided to become pregnant. My son was born 6 months and 1 day later. My God watched over him day and night until he was ready to come home from the hospital 4 1/2 months later. Perfect as can be. However, even with becoming a mother of a premature son, I was no where closer to understanding who I was in Him. I was a HORRIBLE mother. I still lived with my parents, which gave me the ability to leave my son with them and go run off and do other things. I partied, I drank, I probably could have become an alcoholic, but praise God it didn't go that far. The one thing I did DO during that time which I believe was actually a good thing was graduating with my class. I was more determined than EVER to graduate high school, with my graduating class, and NOT become that statistic of a single-teenage-mother dropout.
I got a job, I worked full-time, I tried to become a better person. A better daughter, mother, friend....but nothing was working. I just lived 'through' life. I was still an awful parent. I moved out of my parents house and my son stayed with them. I look back now and can see where the Lord tried to get my attention, tried to help me with what I so desperately needed. But I denied Him.
It wasn't until I could no longer deny the fact that He 'was' there, and wanted to help me. My family had had a house fire about two weeks before, which just so happened to be in the basement, which was my bedroom. And as I left work early that day, as it was not very busy, I ended up in a car accident on the interstate. I had kind of side-rear ended a dump truck. I had been going 60mph, and the truck had only been going about 5 or 10mph as he was entering the interstate. I hadn't been paying attention, and at the last moment was able to swerve, but ended up popping the dump trucks' duel tires. At that moment, I actually felt arms around my body 'holding' me to the seat. As my vehicle came to a stop I realized I could have rolled down a hill, which thankfully, I did not. The poor man in the dump truck was numb to the fact that the person who had just hit him, was dead. He could not even come see if I was okay. He knew. He had been on the phone with his supervisor I later discovered saying a person hit him and there was no way that they were alive. At this point, I'm finding my cell phone in the rubble of glass on the floor boards of my car, and hit the numbers 3-3, and think no, 9-1-1. I finally get a hold of someone and tell them I'm fine, I don't need an ambulance. They send a cop AND an ambulance. After I had gotten off the phone with them, I realized my door was so smashed that I couldn't open it with the door handle. I had so much adrenaline rushing through my body I somehow managed to kick the door off of the actual car with my leg. Which is still amazing to me this day because there was NO room to even move. A man, in a blue truck, had stopped and asked if I was okay. The look of surprise on his face was weird, I'm pretty sure he thought I was a goner too. He asked if he could help me out of the car, and I told him that I was fine, but thanks. As I stepped onto the ground, my legs immediately felt like Gumby and gave out from underneath me. Thankfully the man grabbed me and stopped me from falling flat on my face. I never did get his name, but I have prayed for that man every day after that. I did end up calling my dad and letting him know what happened, and he showed up after the ambulance got there. I told the ambulance I did not need their medical attention, and they told my dad I needed to go to the hospital. Which is where I sat for the next 4 hours of hearing 'Does that hurt?' 'What about that?', as I was poked, prodded and annoyed. And I had 5 doctors tell me there is no way I should still be alive. Didn't find much comfort in that at the time, but hey. When I was finally discharged and riding with my dad on the way home, I started crying and blubbering like a 2 year old. 'I have no bedroom, and I have no car.'
That night, I went to Barnes Nobles and bought a bible I still use to this day. I gave my heart to the Lord that night and asked that He would forgive me of everything I had done. But most of all, I praise His Holy name that He loved me THAT much! To see me through that accident, to see me through everything that had happened in my life.
Which brings me to exactly four years ago. I had met a guy, in one of the most unlikely places. A bar. It just so happened he was in the Army and was in town for a conference with the bomb squad. And he was a Christian! We talked the entire night until he had to leave the next morning to go back to California. (Me in South Dakota) We talked for the next 3 months, day in and day out, sometimes ALL day and ALL night. In May, he asked me to go to an Army Ball with him in Florida. I went, to the surprise of myself and everyone else who knew me and had the most surreal time. At that point, I knew I would marry him. 4 months later, he asked me to move with him to Utah, we had only known each other 7 months! How crazy was this?!?!?! But, despite what everyone was thinking around me, I agreed. That was the first step in my life towards becoming and understanding who I am in Christ. I have lived here 4 years, in the absolute desert. And in this time, I have NEVER 'needed' anything. Wanted, sure. But our needs have ALWAYS been provided by Him. Have we had hard times? Yes, we have. But we have also grown so much closer in the time that we have known each other. I have become a better mother, and also welcomed our daughter into this world 3 years ago. I make mistakes, yes. I know I do, but I am His daughter! And He loves me with all that He is! And I grow and learn each and every day. But most importantly, I finally know who I am. And I don't honestly care what people think, that I don't act like them, that I don't fit in to society's way of thinking and doing. I am ME! I am the daughter of the Most High, who created me, to be ME!

I pray that today, you will find something you TRULY like about yourself, and thank God for that! And may He continue to bless each and every one of you, in Him.

In Christ,
Audie


12 comments:

Heather@Mommymonk

Audie,
That is quite the story! God has brought you through a lot to realize how much He loves you.

Audie

He definitely has!
It was a tough story to tell, but the truth always is, in some way I guess.
Thank you for stopping by!

In Christ,
Audie

AutumnRose

"And I don't honestly care what people think, that I don't act like them, that I don't fit in to society's way of thinking and doing. I am ME! I am the daughter of the Most High, who created me, to be ME!"

Amen to that! I enjoyed your entry. Thanks for visiting me today, I have made some lovely new friends!
AutumnRose xx
ps: I love your pink flower design :)

Heather

Loved the story!!! How amazing our God is!!!
By the way, I am from Sioux Falls, too!!! That's too cool!!! :)

Audie

AutumnRose - I LOVE your name! I thought I'd share my name is Autumn too. Audie is just a nickname!
Thank you for stopping by! I am definitely making some great friends by doing these meme's!!! Thank you Jesus!

Heather - That is cool! You are the first I've met who is from Sioux Falls too! Are you still living there? Or did you move? Thank you for stopping by!

I added you guys to my blog list too, I hope you don't mind! :)

In Christ,
Audie

Denise

Such an amazing story, bless you dear one.

Shari

Wow. What a story! What a testimony! God sure wanted your attention. He will do amazing things to get us to turn to Him.

Susan

What an incredible testimony! I really enjoyed reading this.

So nice to meet you!

God surely had his hands on you and I'm so blessed things turned out the way they did!

Blessings♥

Audie

Denise - Thank you! God bless you!

Shari - God definitely WILL get your attention when He wants it. I am just so blessed that He loved me so much that He didn't give up on me!

Susan - Thank you! It is very nice to meet you!

Thank you ALL for stopping by! I look forward to reading your new posts!

MiPa

What an incredible journey! Thank you for sharing your story. Be blessed this week.

mamas*little*treasures

Well, Sweet Girl, I'm sure you have no way of knowing what a blessing your story was in my life today! I know, I know, it is already Wednesday, but this is my first opportunity to go visiting this week!

You sound so much like my youngest bio daughter. She is now 23 but went through many of the same kinds of things that you described . . . . and my heart was breaking as I prayed for her safety through it all. There was no horrible car accident in our story, but there are two beautiful babies. She did finish high school and is now in college. But I want you to know that God uses stories like yours, not only as an encouragement to other young people who are wandering and confused . . . . but this story has been a blessing to me today, to remind me that even when our children seem to take the most dangerous paths, God can and does protect them. Thank you for bringing joy to this mama's heart today! Nina

Audie

Nina - Thank you, you are so sweet!
Our God is a VERY big God, He will always be with your daughter. And through those dangerous paths we 'choose' to take, we do learn along the way. Up until this point, it's just been my story. I guess we just never know what the Lord has planned for us!
I'm glad I could bring joy to your heart today Nina. Just continue to pray for your daughter - just like you have all along!
In Christ,
Audie

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